Question & Answer
by MagellinaFluffQueen
Summary: Have questions you want answered? Ever wonder about something that only an agent could tell you? Get answers to all those nagging questions RIGHT HERE, as I, MagellinaFluffQueen, interview/interrogate the W13 characters! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

** I was reading the Professor Layton archives and I found this thing called "Question and Answer" and I thought, "We haven't got one of those for W13 yet, have we?" No, we don't! So here is one! Please send in questions that you want answered and I will be happy (or at least willing) to ask them. **

I ring the doorbell. Leena answers the door. I enter the B&B, trying to hide my excitement at being here. "Hi, I'm from , I'm here to ask some questions." I say.

Leena stares at me. "Excuse me, but who are you?" Leena asks politely.

I smack myself in the forehead. "Oh, of course! How silly of me. I'm MagellinaFluffQueen, but you can call me Mags. I'm an investigator for Fan Fiction. The fans want some questions answered, Leena, and quite frankly, I'm the most qualified person for the job." I hold out a hand and Leena shakes it nervously.

"Uh, if you say so. What did you want to know?" Leena asks conversationally.

"Well, I have some questions for Myka and Pete, do you know when they'll be back from their latest artifact retrieval mission?"

Leena frowns. "Soon, I should think. And how did you know-"

"I know almost everything about the Warehouse, Leena. But that's okay, I'll talk to you until they get back."

Leena nods and says, "Alright, but I have a pie in the oven and I still have to make dinner."

I nod. "Okay, first question: Are you or are you not Artie and Mrs. Frederic's daughter?"

"What?" Leena splutters. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Who told you that?" I make a note on my clipboard. _Appears reluctant to admit the obvious. _

"Okay, next question. Are you crushing on Pete?"

Leena just stares at me. "I think you better leave."

I stand my ground. "ARE you?"

Leena glares at me. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not I don't think that is anyone's business but my own."

**R&R and SEND IN QUESTIONS! Please?**


	2. Chapter 2

**First off, let me apologize for the length of time that's passed between ch. 1 and ch. 2, the file for ch. 2 got deleted and I had to start all over again. Also, school is really really hectic this year and I'm having a hard time finding time to write. So expect a week or so between chapters to become the norm. Sorry!**

I enter the Umbilicus, pulling out a small device to let me get past the laser eye scanner as I go. As I enter the office, Artie mutters,"It's about time you two got here. I've been waiting for you for almost an h-" He turns around, realizes that I'm not Pete and Myka, and pulls out a Tesla. "Who are you and how did you get in here?"

I walk over to him and hold out a hand. "I'm Mags, I'm an... investigative journalist, I guess you could say. I'm here to ask you some questions. I work for Fan Fiction."

"Uh... which is what, exactly?" he lowers the Tesla very slightly.

I explain, though leaving out the part where Artie is a fictional character.

"Okay, if you don't want to tell me the truth..." he raises the Tesla again. I reach over and grab it, much to Artie's surprise.

"Now. Please sit down and answer these questions, they're not that difficult." Artie seem more inclined to cooperate now that I have the Tesla pointed at him.

"Question one. How old are you?" Artie raises an eyebrow. "Come on, it's not that hard. _How old are you?"_

"Fifty-eight." I write that down on my clipboard.

"Why do you hate H.G. Wells so much?" Artie scowls at me.

"She killed my best friend, you idiot." he snaps.

"So, MacPherson was only your friend, then? You weren't, you know, having a secret affair or something?"

Artie splutters for a moment, which I take as confirmation. I jot it down on the clipboard.

"How does Claudia want to die that involves David Bowie?"

Artie grins, then his eyes widen in fear as Claudia enters the office, glaring at him so hard it's a wonder he doesn't set on fire, or something.

"Don't even _think _about it, Artie." she snarls.

Artie gulps and looks back at me. "I'm not at liberty to disclose that information." he says quickly. Claudia relaxes.

"Excellent! I'm glad you're here, Claudia. I've got some questions for you, as well."

"Huh? Who the hell are you?" she asks, giving me a curious look.

Artie explains and Claudia seems a bit impressed. "That's kinda cool." she says, "I didn't know we had fans. Fire away then, Mags."

"Claudia, what do you do during your free time?"

She snorts. "_What _free time?" she gives Artie a look of annoyance. I make a note of that.

"Okay, what's your favorite artifact?" I ask her.

"Oh, that's a hard one. It would either have to be the snow globe or the hammer, the one that belonged to Noah, that lets you fix anything_. _I mean literally _anything._ I ripped a hole in my favorite pair of jeans once and it fixed them like poof! It was awesome."

Artie rolls his eyes. "You couldn't have just had Leena fix them? She would have if you'd asked."

"Yeah, but it would have taken longer." Claudia says as if this is the simplest thing in the world to understand.

"Next question." I say before Artie can retort. "Are you two aware that some people ship you?"

They both look confused. "What does 'ship' mean?" Artie says warily, looking as though he will regret asking.

"Are you two secretly together?"

Claudia snorts again. Artie goes pale. They look at each other. "NO." they reply in unison. I nod. "Uh-huh." I scribble on the clipboard.

"We're NOT!" Claudia insists. "That would be, ya know, disgusting. Like going out with your dad or something. No offense, Artie."

"None taken." says Artie, who is still pale.

The office door opens and Pete and Myka join us.

"Oh, great! Hi, I'm an investigative journalist from Fan Fiction..."

**Whether you choose to accept these answers as fact is up to you. Send in more questions, particularly embarrassing ones!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

After Artie and Claudia explain who I am to Pete and Myka, I start asking them questions. "Okay Pete, I'm gonna start with you."

"That sounds ominous." Myka mutters. I ignore her.

"How does Artie punish you when you goof off?"

Pete rolls his eyes. "He makes me help Claudia with inventory."

Claudia punches him lightly on the arm. "Like that's such a punishment. You don't even do anything, just stand around and play with the artifacts. It's a wonder your still alive to tell the tale after that little incident with the tent."

Artie narrows his eyes. "WHAT tent? You don't mean..." he stares from Claudia to Pete and back. Claudia nods.

"That's it. You, Pete Lattimer, are now officially banned from ever entering the storage section of the Warehouse. From now on you will do filing work." Pete groans.

"Thanks a lot, Claudia."

"Next question! Myka, what did you tell Kelly that made her take Pete back so quickly?"

"I always wondered that myself." Pete says, turning to stare at Myka. Myka blushes.

"I just said that Pete loved her, and even though he had to go away sometimes, he would always come back for her." Myka stares at her feet.

"That's it?" Pete asks incredulously. "I could have come up with that." he says, flinging his hands in the air.

"You guys remember the mission with Samuel Braid's chair, right?" I ask the agents quickly, before Pete and Myka start to argue. They nod, and Artie mutters darkly, "How could I forget? They said they blew up my car."

"Wait, you blew up his car?" Claudia asks angrily. "And are still alive today? And yet when I got a _little tiny _scratch on it I got chewed out for like two weeks?"

"No, we only said we did. As payback for making us both think we were supposed to be in charge." Myka explained.

"Actually, that's what I was wondering about. Whose idea was that, exactly? Pretending to blow up Artie's car?"

Myka raises a hand guiltily. Artie looks scandalized. "It was_ your_ idea?" She nods.

"Yup. Pete said 'What d'you think would annoy Artie the most?' And I said 'We should blow up his car. Or push it over a cliff or into a river.' And Pete said 'No, we should just pretend we did. Being beaten to death by my boss is not high on my list of ways to go.'"

Artie continues to stare at them, his mouth hanging open.

"Anyway..." I say. "I have some more questions-"

"No, Pete and Myka have a new mission, they need to be heading off." Artie says handing them files and pointing them towards the door. They leave and I turn to face Artie and Claudia again.

"So... Artie! How long have you been regrowing your appendix?" Claudia stares at him.

"WHAT?" Comprehension dawns on her face. "Oh. Barnum's top. Shame, shame, Artie. What a giant hypocrite you are."

"How long, then?" I prod, ignoring his obvious mortification.

"Uh... about 9 years now." he grins sheepishly.

"Dude. You've had a crush on this woman for _nine years_ and you still haven't done anything about it? That's just sad." I say. Claudia just roars with laughter.

"Claudia, how long did it take you to get free after Artie handcuffed you to that oven? And how did you eventually get free?"

Claudia stops laughing and looks slightly embarrassed. "Like, an hour. And I finally managed it by taking the handcuffs apart. I had this artifact in my bag that allows you to reshape metal-"

"Claudia!" Artie glares sternly at her. "Why did it take you an hour then, if you _cheated?_"

"I forgot I had it." she shrugs.

"Your carelessness is going to cost us all someday, I swear. Like the time you almost blew up the Neutralizer Processing Fa-"

You said you forgave me for that! And you also said you once had only 17 seconds 'till total meltdown!"

"That is actually a fair point. And an awful lot of the fans would like to know how that one came about." I say.

Artie rolls his eyes. "It's not that great of a story..." he mumbles.

"Tell it anyway." I urge, holding a pen above my clipboard.

"Well, James and I brought back this artifact, one that had been causing technical problems at a factory in Hong-Kong. And I um... didn't store it properly and it caused the Plant to shut down, along with the dark Vault and all the other systems in the Warehouse. I eventually had to climb inside the Neutralizer tank and manually start it up again." He shivers. "I've never seen Mrs. Frederic so angry."

At that exact moment she pops out of nowhere.

"How, exactly, do you do that?" I ask curiously.

She raises her eyebrow at me. "Do what?"

"Sneak up on people like that." I persist, unfased by her icy demeanor.

"That" she says, "Is absolutely none of your business." She turns to talk to Artie and her bodyguard whispers in my ear, "She used to be a ninja."

**That's all for now. Send in more questions. If they're not in by Saturday, September 26 they won't be included in the story. Okay? I hope everyone's enjoying it. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay, I've been having trouble with my computer. Some things just don't wanna save properly!**

I follow Artie and Claudia back to the B&B. As I get out of my car and follow them in, Artie turns toward me and demands angrily, "Don't you have anything better to do with your time then bother us?" Claudia pats him on the shoulder.

"Artie. Chill. What exactly is so bad about her asking us questions?"

I beam at her. "Thank you, Claudia. Now I only have a couple mere, so I'll be out of your way in no time." Artie just glares at me.

"Artie, why didn't you tell Mrs. Frederic about Claudia's little 'knock knock' trick?"

Artie blinks several times. "What do you mean?"

"Why didn't you tell her someone was trying to hack the Warehouse?"

"I'll answer that." Claudia says, grinning. "It's because he thought he could deal with me on his own. But he was wrong, which, contrary to what he says, is a fairly common occurrence. Like the time we were reorganizing the Farnsworth Isle, and he accidentally-"

"Yes, Claudia, the world doesn't need to know that story." he mutters, turning red. He leaves the room, heading (no doubt) for the kitchen and the cookies.

"Finally, I was starting to wonder if I'd ever get to talk to you on your own." I say to Claudia. "When you fell through the roof of the evil B&B, how long were you in there before Pete and Myka found you?"

Claudia bites her lip and stares at the ceiling. "Uh, at least an hour. And you wouldn't believe all the different ways I tried to get out." she exclaims. "The fireplace, the windows, all the doors, I went into Artie's room and tried to climb out the skylight, I even got the ax for out of the basement and tried to chop down the door."

"Interesting." I murmur, scribbling on my clipboard. "And it turned out to be that picture in the study. Which reminds me: is Walt Disney's pen in the Warehouse, by any chance?"

"Yup. It gives the user incredible talent, but is really addictive. The last person who had it, back in 1978, drew for weeks at a time, unable to stop himself. He eventually died of starvation." I stare at her, wondering how she knows this. "Artie and MacPherson were the ones who brought it to the Warehouse, I remember Artie telling me the story once."

"Is it a good story?" I ask, interested.

"Not really." Claudia frowns.

"Okay then, next question. How do you get that one streak of hair to change colors so quickly?"

Claudia turns and looks over her shoulder, presumably to check that Artie is well out of earshot. "There's a bottle of spray-in hair-dye at the Warehouse. Apply once and it changes color daily on a 7 color cycle."

"That's pretty cool." I say, impressed.

"Yeah, it's nice. I don't really have time to change it by hand every day, ya know?"

I hear the door to the B&B open. The bodyguard enters and stares at me and Claudia.

"Why are you still here? Mrs. Frederic asked that you leave." he says in a perfectly flat, even voice.

"Um, actually I have a few questions for you, then I'll be off."

The man blinks. "You have questions... for me?" he sounds astonished.

"Yeah. First of all, what's your name? I've never heard anyone address you by name."

"My name is Bob." he says, staring at his feet.

"BOB?" Claudia and I say at the same time.

"Yes."

"Okay. What do you do when you're not bodyguard-ing Mrs. F?"

"I enjoy bowling. And I teach a floral arrangement class."

"You _what?_"

"Teach a floral arrangement class. At the senior citizens home in the next town."

"Do you have a wife? Kids?"

"No, but I have a new puppy. His name is Arnold."

"Wow. You protect Mrs. F and do community service. AND have a puppy. I would never have guessed that you were so soft-hearted."

**Well, FallenOutTheWindow, are you happy now that I have exposed the secret life of the bodyguard? **


	5. Chapter 5

Before I leave I give some papers to Claudia.

"These are more questions that I didn't have time to ask you guys. Please see that Pete and Myka get theirs. Mail them to this address when you're finished. It was great to meet you in person." I hold out a hand to shake Claudia's

"Oh, same here. I had fun. It sure beats inventory." She smirks toward the kitchen and raises her voice on the last words. I can hear Artie grumbling about teenagers. Claudia and I look at each other and roll our eyes. I leave and begin my long drive back to FF headquarters.

Below is the sheets, filled out and completed.

**Pete:** Do you have any really embarrassing secrets we don't yet know about? "Like I'd tell you."

Do you secretly really love that Myka named her ferret after you? "The ferret's named after me?"

Do you like to eat? "I like cookies. And cake. And Leena's pies. And she makes good roast beef, as well."

Do you know how to cook? "...No?"

Have you ever been to Jamaica? "No. Why?"

Do you like spongebob? "I watch it with my nephew sometimes."

Do you like Myka? "Who doesn't like Myka?"

Do you love Myka? "Yes. No. I'm not really sure. If you mean 'you're my best friend' kind of love, then yes. If you mean 'love' love, I'm still trying to figure that out myself."

Do you love Claudia? "As a sister. And a friend."

Do you love Artie? "... he's cool, I guess. When he's not shouting."

How about Leena and Mrs. Frederic? "Leena is amazing, she reminds me of my mom. Don't tell her I said that. Mrs. Frederic kinda creeps me out, though."

Do you ever have dirty thoughts about Myka? "..."

Claudia? "..."

Leena? "..."

Do you ever worry that Mrs. Frederic can read your mind when you have thoughts about them? "I don't have dirty thoughts about them! Well, maybe Myka... a little."

Do you worry that you are going to get fat? "No, I have to do too much running for my life in this job to manage to get fat."

Do you think Myka and Claudia would still love you if you got fat? "Probably. I don't see them as the shallow types."

Do you ever worry that you'll end up like Artie? "Uh, I don't know."

**Myka:** Do you hate your parents? "No, not really. My dad and I have never gotten along, but I don't hate him."

Do they hate you? "They're my parents!"

Do you ever hate Artie? "Well, there was that period of time right after we got transferred here, but that wore off after about a week or so. I realized it was a change for the good and forgave him."

How about Pete? "Sometimes he can be very childish and annoying, but I haven't hated him for a long time. Not since the chair mission."

Do you ever worry that Artie or Pete hate you? "When Helena joined the team I thought Artie hated me. He isn't still mad, is he?"

Do you think of Claudia as an annoying little sister? "As a little sister, sure, but not an annoying one."

Do you think Pete does? "Pete loves Claudia. He bought her a new laptop for her birthday."

Do you have any tattoos? "No."

Do you wear contacts? "Yes."

Do you have glasses? Yes, but I don't wear them very often."

Do you think they make you look nerdy? "Sam told me once that I look like a librarian with my glasses on, which I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing..."

ARE you nerdy? "Maybe. I love to read, when I was a kid that was nerdy. Has the definition changed in the past ten years?"

Do you watch Star Trek? "With Pete, on the flat-screen in his room. We have little parties sometimes."

Does Pete watch Star Trek? "Every time it's on."

Do you like Christmas? "Yes."

Do you like sugar? "...I like Twizzlers. And Artie's cookies. Don't etll anyone I said that, if Pete ever found out, I'd never hear the end of it."

Do you like Alice in Wonderland, or are you scarred for life from being trapped in the mirror? "I used to love Alice. Now... I can't even look at the cover of the book without shivering."

Do you like OneRepublic? "What?"

Do you even know what OneRepublic IS? "No."

Do you write depressing poetry? "No."

Is it about Pete? "No."

Artie? "NO."

Your parents? "NO!"

Sam? "NO! I don't write poetry, alright?"

Do you have any scars? "One on my head, under my hair, from when I fell out of a tree as a kid."

Do you think these questions are annoying? "A little."

If I ran up to you and hugged you, would you Tesla me? "Maybe."

**Claudia:** If I ran up to you in the streets and hugged you, would you do that kung-foo thing Myka taught you? "No, I love hugs!"

Would you let me video-tape it and put it on YouTube? "Uh..."

Would Artie come after me if I put you on YouTube? "Probably. He's weird like that."

Do you love Artie? "Yes. Don't tell him, he'd act all weirded out."

Do you think of him as a father? "Hell yeah."

Do you think of Myka as an older sister? "Yeah, we hang sometimes."

Do you think of Pete like a brother? "What's with all the family questions?"

Do you think HE thinks of you that way? "I think so..."

Where did you learn to hack computers? "That's a secret."

Can you teach me? "No. Great hackers are born, not made."

Where do you get your hair done? "I do it myself."

Where do you get your clothes? "Um... "

Do you like Fargo or Todd better? "uh..."

Are you going to kill me for asking that? Maybe. If I ever see you again I might beat you up."

Will Artie kill me for asking that? "If he ever finds you, you better start running."

Are you scared of Mrs. Frederic? "A little bit."

**Artie:** Did you love MacPherson? "..."

Did you miss him when he was banished? "..."

Do you love Mrs. Frederic? ".."

Are you and her Leena's parents? "..."

Do you love Claudia? "...yes."

Do you see her as a daughter? "How else would I see her?… pervert."

Do you worry about your weight? "Leena worries about my weight enough for both of us."

Do you hide cookies in the dark vault? "How did you know that?" **("Artie's Rules" by Shorty McGee. I highly recommend it.)**

Why the heck are you so short? "...what kind of question is that?"

**So there it is, the last chapter of the Q&A. Kirk out.**


End file.
